The Diabetic Napan

A personal journey in struggling with diabetes and its complications.

Monday, June 23, 2008


Now I know something is amiss. I work a few minutes at home just doing simple things (dishes, trash, simple drive to the store) and I am more exhausted than ever. All I want to do is sleep. I can't drink a lot, just doesn't seem right.

If you read the post about the potential CKD I'll know for sure when I go back to the doctor on 6/30. Stay tuned for details.

I realize we had an over 100+ degree day on Saturday 6/21, but even during the day I want to crash at my desk at work.

Lord, hear my prayer. Guide me pelase to what is happening.


Monday, June 16, 2008

Tired and Hanging In

It's one of those days today where I didn't want to crawl out of bed. Tired, achy, pain in my back. Sugar was high - stupid me trying to correct a low by push too many carbs. Wish though I was putting out more than I know I am consuming in liquids. Want to fall asleep at the desk and that is not a good thing. Missing things as well and I know that's a sign of problems.

But caffiene is trying to kick in - albeit three hours later.

Hanging in there and trying to be positive.

Nice to see the first comment on the welcome post. Thanks!

Sunday, June 15, 2008

In Appreciation: Tim Russert (1950-2008)

Well, this is not a diabetic post, or anything related to diabetes. But I have a great passion for politics and television. I've often told friends and colleagues that politics is the "ultimate contact sport." I came from a region where we value our relationships with our friends, honor our past, present and future, fight like the devil when a political arguement takes place, and enjoy our food, our liabations, and our democratic ideals. That, and of course our beloved sports teams (the Red Sox, Patriots, Celtics and Bruins). And if I haven't given away from where I am from originally here's a clue....Kennedy.

So Friday's passing of Tim Russert, the Washington Bureau Chief and moderator of "Meet the Press" for the NBC television network, brought me to tears. In all of the coverage from both sides of the aisle since his death at age 58 of coronary thrombosis, there has been no criticism, no ill word spoken of him. Nor should there be.

I have been an avid watcher of news television over the years. Current events fascinate me. They drive me in many ways. I am a voracious reader, particularly in the aftermath of a major event. I want to know the why, the who, the event in as much detail as possible. Having watched MTP with Tim for the last 17 years, I gained more insight in the world of the Beltway, the world, and human life than anything my own Catholic education back in Kingston, Massachusetts ever taught me. Every eulogist has brought out one constant - he was tough, but fair. His love and passion and enthusiasm for getting it right without the so-called "gotcha" question was remarkable.

But above all he was a family man. Loving son of his dad, Big Russ, brother to his older siblings, husband to his wife Maureen, and father to his only son, Luke. Being an only child myself and having lost my dad at an early age, I know that Luke must treasure those father/son memories.

So let us not weep today for Tim, but indeed celebrate his life. I know he's probably asking, why did this happen now. The biggest political season I dare say ever, and he won't be a part of it.

May the Angels guide you to your peaceful rest.

Tu Diabetes

There is a great social networking site for diabetics and those who support us. Created by Manny fernandez, who I had the pleasure, along with my best friend, in meeting in Santa Clara earlier this year is called Tu Diabetes ( I'd encourage you to visit, join, and even share your stories of hope, fear and advice.


Today, June 15, 2008, is Father's Day. While I have no children of my own, I wish happiness to those who are celebrating this special day.

My dad passed in 1978 as a result of an accident at work. I was 11 at the time. And I have always regretted never getting more time with him. I guess I could be envious of my friends who had their fathers growing up, and still have them today. But my love for my father, and my mother who has since passed, will never go away.

I joke they passed on my diabetic problems to me - amongst other things...and they can't answer for it. I suspect they're having a grand ol' time in Heaven, and having a little Irish-Portuguese humor at my expense.

But now to the serious part of creating this blog. Me.

My diabetes is definitely not what you would call ideal. I've been a diabetic since December 1989 when I was brought to the hospital with a blood sugar through the roof. I should have been dead. But for some reason I was left on this earth for whatever plan He has for me.

Since then it's been a constant struggle with maintaing compliance with it. I've had good days, but they've been outweighed by the bad more often than not.

To say I am truly complaint would be a bold faced lie. And now the numbers are proving it, in more ways than one.

Today I am on the verge of being diagnosed with chronic kidney disease. With a albumin/creatinine level nearly 800% above normal, and a concentrated creatinine level 900% or more above level...well you get the picture. The kidneys are barking HELP me.

How am I coping? I'm not, and I admit it. I am scared.

My mom died of renal failure, and unfortunately my path is headed that way. I keep trying to make the efforts to change, but they seem to be getting me no where - in many things.

While I have a good job, and good insurance, I can't seem to turn the corner with keeping and maintaining solid relationships. I seem to lose more friends than make, and I know it's mostly because I am too stubborn.

I want to change, and this is why I am using this blog not just as a journal of my struggles but I hope of victories.

I encourage anyone reading this to share, to offer gudinace, and yes I'll accept criticism as well. I would hope my friends read this as well and understand the pain and anger I may show sometimes is not a reflection of my relationships, but of the fear of loss before my time ends. I fear that may be soon as things are going, which puts a big cramp in my goal to reach 62. I got almost 20 years to go to that goal and I plan everything in my part to reach that, the good Lord willing.